A few years back when I was working a media event at the Arizona State Fair and comatose on funnel cakes, a friend and I escaped from the fairgrounds for some gourmet haute cuisine at Wendy’s a few blocks away. As I left the fair entrance a guy asked me for pocket change. His eyes were all red and I could smell the booze on him five feet away.
Spontaneously I said, “C’mon, I’ll buy you lunch.” He (and my friend, for that matter) looked at me like I’d just lost my mind. But, we headed off to Wendy’s, our new friend walking a few feet behind us in case, I guess, he thought we were completely nuts and he’d need a quick getaway.
When we got there he ordered everything large-sized then he sat away from us. When he was finished, he shook my hand and thanked me, then left.
Whether it was naiveté or an over-inflated ego, I hoped my minor random act of kindness would be the start of a positive, lifelong transformation for him. I imagined him leaving Wendy’s to find the nearest rehab center, admit himself and begin a new, productive life free from all substance abuse.
The next morning he was back at his chosen location, red-eyed and asking for change again.
Then a few weeks ago a guy outside a local restaurant asked me – and anyone else who passed by for spare change to buy food. This was a trendy part of town and the sidewalk was packed with locals and tourists. I asked him what he wanted and he requested pumpkin pie and a Diet Coke. (Clearly this guy knew the restaurant menu). He took the pie from me and mumbled his thanks. A friend (another one) wasn’t convinced that he was as needy as he appeared and asked me if I’d noticed his good shoes and clean clothes. She seemed satisfied when he said he lived in a local homeless shelter.
And so I learned a few things. One, odds are that a small random act of kindness won’t transform someone’s life.
Two, it does change you. Trust me.
And three – and this is the important one – it’s about not judging someone’s personal life or habits and deciding whether or not he deserves your $3.00 lunch gift. It is not about the have and have-nots, the more fortunate and less fortunate. It’s about serving your neighbor and making the world a teeny bit kinder.
So the next time someone says she’s hungry and asks you for a little food (and yes, I heard about the guy who made a million bucks doing this) you might think she’s too dirty or too clean, too wasted or too sober or it’s her own fault that she got herself in that mess in the first place.
Then maybe you’ll buy her lunch anyway.
Get out and give back.
Jane Hess is a free-lance writer. You can send your comments to jane@getoutandgiveback.com
