Phone-ies

 There’s a special place in heaven for customer service representatives who work the other end of a phone line. I read an on-line story a few months back about how even the meekest of us can be abusive on the phone. Something about the facelessness of it all gave them permission to release their inner Russell Crowe.
     
      I have a confession to make. I have an evil phone twin. I’ll spare you the gory details, but I’ll bet that some of my more spectacular rants have been played over a loudspeaker during office Christmas parties. So, I decided that in the spirit of giving this holiday season, I’d give the gift of civility to those poor, anonymous customer service representatives who’ve been subjected to my evil twin’s tirades.
     
      It hasn’t been easy although I’ve set a pretty low bar for myself.  Even on a good day, my “nice” voice is more, um, direct, than my husband’s “angry” voice. And it didn’t take long for my first challenge. I had arranged for a technician to repair our newly installed home alarm system. We made a date. He didn’t show. He didn’t call. He didn’t e-mail to explain or apologize. We made another date. He didn’t show. He didn’t call. He didn’t e-mail to explain or apologize.
     
      I called their customer service office-again-and dug my fingernails into my neck to keep my evil twin at bay. My default tone of voice on an occasion like this could freeze a ballistic missile in mid-air. I was quite proud of my polite, new voice although it sounded eerily like Hannibal Lector in “Silence of the Lambs.” I was even prouder of myself when the technician called me later to confirm our 5:00 pm appointment then went off on me when I said I wouldn’t be home until 5:30 pm. I patiently explained to him that I’d already told two of his supervisors the day before that I wouldn’t be home until then and even said I was sorry that he didn’t get the word. That’s huge for me. 
     
      Distancing myself from my evil phone alter-ego is not easy and I celebrate small victories whenever I can. Why, this morning I told a customer rep that she didn’t have to read her canned statement to me about how I could have solved my problem online rather than call her. She didn’t seem to appreciate my generous offer, but she was nice and I was nice and all was good.
     
      So for those of you still searching for holiday gifts, I offer mine to share. 
     
      Happy holidays to everyone, especially customer service reps!
     
      Get out and give back.